13 Years Ago..

February 26, 1999, 13 years ago today, I said I do. I said I do to the man I love, loved, and will always love. 

My wedding was an evening wedding with candles and dim lights. I wore a cream colored fitting dress with a shear shawl. Long elegant gloves and a crown, a princess crown. I was the happiest girl alive that day in spite of the adversity that existed.

You see, I met (actually re-met) my husband on Sept. 20th at his home during a going away celebration for his mom. I say re-met because the very first time I met my husband we were around 7 years old. Yes, 7 years old in church, during Sunday school. We grew up together in the church. We sang on the same choir, we played together, laughed, smiled with each other. All the while I never knew he had a crush on me. We were friends who enjoyed each others company whenever we were around each other. He came to my home, I went to his. I remember him always being there, not necessarily for me in any particular way, just being there. He was a solid figure that I could always count on seeing. 

He was a devotee to his church, friends, and people of the church. Everyone could depend on him, pretty much. He played the drums, he worked in the sound booth, he was vice president of the youth program. He was someone I looked up to very much. If I closed my eyes right now I can see him dressed in his black suite and white usher gloves, leading the usher in and out of the sanctuary. He was the youngest one, leading all these grown folk, looking as sharp to death, and fierce in his own way. It used to tickle me to see him so serious. And it's funny, he's still the same way. 

I moved to GA in 1990 and he moved here 2 years later. During those years when I was away we wrote to each other and I still have those letters today. When he moved here we spoke a few times off and on and then those few years turned into about 4. I didn't speak to him myself but I heard about how he was doing through my mom and he heard about me through his mom, they were friends. My mom did his mom's hair. Our lives took some interesting turns during those 4 years and in some instances they resembled each other. 

The day we were to see each other again for the first time in those 4 years I was so excited I couldn't contain it. He, I heard, was excited too. As I said earlier we met at his moms house for a going away celebration in honor of her trip to Haiti. While we were praying I took a peek at him sitting in a chair across from me. He had his eyes closed, his head bowed down, and his legs crossed and all I could remember was how calm and poised he looked sitting there. A feeling came over me that I had not felt for him before. He has always been a friend, and even, in a way a brother to me. I had never entertained anything like what I was feeling and I didn't stop it. It was pure, it was genuine, it was innocent love. Love for a man who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I knew that this was different and I was ready to explore it. 

After the guest left my now mother-in-laws home, we sat on the couch together and talked, and talked, and talked some more. We were in serious catch up mode and as it is told to us, our mothers sat across from us and watched the whole thing unfold right before them. They said they knew this was the beginning. A mother's intuition never lies. My daughter, who was 3 at the time was there and sat quietly as she watched as well. After awhile, when he was talking I didn't hear any words. His mouth was moving but I, I was feeling. It felt like I was injected with sparks of light and it felt so warm, so safe, so good. I knew in that moment that this was my husband sitting in front of me and so, 5 months later we got married. 

The adversity I spoke about earlier came from people telling us they thought it was too soon. We were moving too fast, slow down, a word from the wise. We knew this couldn't be wise words, we were ready, we felt it and needed to go with that. That's pretty much how our life has been since then. When we feel, we feel deeply, strongly, and move with that. It hadn't always worked out well, or at least what didn't feel so well while we were experiencing it, but through it all we've always had each others back. 

We were both 23, young, vulnerable, alone a times, but we had each other and that was the world to us, and still is.