The Shredder VS. The Trash Can

             

   Dammit!!  Did I just put that in the shredder?  Why, oh why the heck didn’t I toss it in the trash can?!  I just lost an important document to my sometimes reckless shredding habits.  It’s irretrievable…gone forever.  In my office, within arms reach I have both a shredder and a trash can.  And for reasons I’ve yet to determine, I often choose to shred items that could just as well go into the trash can.  Maybe it’s the sound of the machine, or just the fascination with the whole process…I don’t know.

                Hold on, before your eyes gloss over, and you click away – there is a point to this story - a bit of a revelation, if you will.  Please, allow me to share.  Many times in life we face the same question.  Does this (person, experience or thing) go in the trash where it can be retrieved if needed, or does this go through the shredder (forever destroying the possibility of revisiting them or it)?  Sometimes, we are careless, and like I did today, we shred things that need not be totally destroyed.  And other times, we leave ourselves exposed to potential harm by not shredding the things that could be easily retrieved.

                Some relationships are meant for the shredder.  They have served their purpose and their re-emergence in our life would be detrimental.  While on the other hand some relationships are exposed to their own unique challenges, and the frustration of the moment may tempt us to give it up and throw it all away.  Yet when we have the opportunity to reflect on the entirety of the experience, we may wish to reconsider our position.  Likewise, some experiences in our life should find the shredder of our mind.  Their impact needs nothing less than total destruction.  They may be painful experiences of our childhood, or the disappointment of a situation gone bad.  Other experiences in our life exist and remain to teach us valuable lessons, and sometimes remind us of how resilient we really are.

                So how do you determine what to put into the shredder?  How do you determine, what's worth holding on to and what is terminally fated?  I'm sure there are numerous answers to this question, and we'd love to hear yours.  Here's a bit of what I'd consider strongly for the shredder. After carefully evaluation, any relationship, situation or experience that is 1. Naggingly Oppressive 2. Conflicting with your internal sense of integrity & 3. Interfering with your ability to BE the self you KNOW as your self.

                How do you decide what to shred?  And what methods do you use to make sure those things are really destroyed?