I Just Don't Know What To Say

As I'm writing this tears are flowing down my face. I just learned that a dear friend of mine was recently diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Her cousin was the one who told me today. I just listened to her as she described the past two weeks to me. Giving me all the details as to what's been happening with my friend. I did find it odd that I hadn't spoken to her in a while and when I called the phone just rang. I didn't think anything of it just that I would talk to her soon. Her cousin described the day after Chemotherapy, my heart ached. I learned that she was told the whole process is going to take 9 months and that in a few months she will be loosing her left breast. I can't believe this has happened to her.

I'm well aware that this disease (along with any other) is no respecter of persons and that anyone, anyone can become a victim at anytime. I'm just speechless that it's hit so close to home, you know?

I was introduced to her by D. (my hubby) back in '98' around the same time they both were in the same ministry at church. We hit it off right from the start. She's been there for me/us from the very beginning of our relationship. Baby showers, births, moving, the highs and the lows. We lived with her and her family for a little while until we got back on our feet, she's never said no. When I was going through and transitional time she took a step back to give me my space but never let go. I've always felt her there, felt her prayers. As of late her cousin and I have become close, all due to her wisdom and guidance. This new found friendship has been a blessing to me on so many levels, talk about being stretched.

D. and I have planned to visit with her this weekend, what do I say? What do I do? She's so strong. I can't imagine what it's going to be like sitting across from her looking into her eyes, holding her hands, embracing her in one of our long long hugs. I don't want to stay too long but yet I don't want to leave too soon. I don't want to cry but yet when we cry, together, it feels so good. I just don't know....

Anyway, D. just came home and I'm going to cry in his arms. After that, maybe it will come.