Recognizing ME In My Patterns - Our Word Writing Prompt

I am waiting for my mother to wrap her warm, sensual, loving, arms around me so tight that I could hardly breathe.

I am waiting for silence, stillness, pulse, open, warmth, rays, wet, peace, freedom, fear, waiting, shame, me.

I am waiting to have my shit together before I speak on it. Spit the fire of blood, that pulse, that beat, that rhythm, that is me.

I am waiting for love. courage. someone to say that I can. someone to lay it out for me, my plan. No, their plan. Not mine. Never will be.

I am waiting in no-land. in-between. in a hole. 

I am waiting along with others who are afraid.

I am waiting with hope in my heart for a clear path. Please show me the way.

I am waiting under the shadows, under-neath my-self. Thump. 

I am waiting no more. No more am I waiting. No more am I waiting.

Done.

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After writing my way through this prompt the next prompt lead me to knowing this...

It began by me writing, "Most of the time..."

Most of the time I think I got it. The "it" being, my path and seeing it clearly which makes me not afraid to keep stepping. But, what happens when the path is not so clear and I can't see the next step in front of me? What happens in that moment?

Most of the time, I can name my course, with courage, with a smile, clarity. 

It's when I'm not clear, the frown takes over.

Most of the time, I don't even remember where I am. The place becomes clouded, blind, fogged, musky, stifling.

Most of the time, I think I'm the shits. It's when I feel lost that I don't.

Most of the time, I can't even believe this is me. And it's in my beliefs that I AM.

Most of the time, I feel free. I do. I really feel free.

Most of the time, I know exactly what I want to do and do it. Most of the time.

Most of the time, I don't hide from myself. Nor anyone else. Most of the time.

Most of the time, I prefer to think rationally, instead of intuitively. Hmmm. Intuitive thinking takes to much time. Lies! Intuitive thinking is where my strength lies. Truth!

~~~~~~~~~

From today's, Our Word - The Collective Guide To Intuitive Writing, writing prompt: Repetition & Pattern. 

Lesson revealed: Sometimes you have to take that next step not seeing clearly what that next step is but doing it anyway.

You have to trust that the path is already laid out for you. Just take the step. Just take the step. 

I'm so grateful for the women who are a part of Our Word. Their writing has liberated me these past few weeks. These writing prompts has brought our the muse in me even more than I knew was there. 
We are in our 5th week. Last week of this amazing course. If you're interested in joining the next session, take a look at the link above. 

xo,