Your Shape, Your Size, Your Body, It's BEAUTIFUL!

Back in 2004 after I had my fourth baby my husband bought us a really nice camera and began snapping away. That's when life changed for us. He has always had a love of photography and as a child use to enjoy watching his Grandfather take pictures.  He bought lighting, and backdrops, and invested time learning photography. He stocked up on film and batteries, and brushed up on his photo editing skills. Things got serious.

Prior to this we had just been taking pictures, just shooting casually. But in 2004 we kicked it up a notch. We began doing our own photoshoots and Lisa C the model was (re)born. To date, we have taken over 20,000 pictures and counting. During that time however, something else was taking place within me that I wasn't prepared for, something that would rock my world. I had hit an all time high in weight gain and I was usually unhappy about it. 

Being pregnant and having a belly is one thing, not being pregnant and having people ask you, “When are you do?”, is another. (Damn how I hated that question.)

Even though it was a struggle for me each and every time to get in front of the camera, I did it anyway. I pushed myself through the tears. I knew that my healing was there. My husband knew that my healing was there and he didn't give up on me for one second. When I wanted to quit he wouldn't let me. He knew that deep down this was what I wanted to do and what I needed to do. I use the camera to express myself, my sensuality, my sexuality, and I need it like I need air to breathe. 

"Whatever feeds your sensuality / sexuality, please continue to eat." ~Lisa R Charles

   

He wouldn't leave me alone about it. Everywhere I turned there was a camera in my face, especially when my clothes fell to the floor. This was when I felt most vulnerable. I would be pissed off and he would smile and say, “You’re beautiful!". So through the frowns, tear drops, and steam coming out of my ears, he would snap away. I couldn't stay upset too long because I knew he was doing this out of his deep and passionate love for me. (And maybe out of guilt too. After all I didn't get pregnant by myself). Bottom line, he believed that this was necessary for my freedom.  He believed that this would help me to feel beautiful and confident.  He believed that this would help me to embrace my changing body,  remain open in my sensuality, and confident in my self.  Eventually, so did I.

It's been several years since I've been pregnant and breastfeeding a baby.  I miss it, but not enough to venture down that path again. I was blessed to have had that experience and all that came along with it, even the weight fluctuations. I can say this with the utmost gratitude now. 

My weight has fluctuated up and down since then, but now I don't have the excuse of pregnancy. And as life goes on it's getting harder to maintain a certain weight unless I am very conscious about what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, or not eating at all. It kinda sucks, really, but it is what it is. I have to respect that or else I'll be miserable. I made a promise to myself to do what it takes, to eat healthier, to get my rest, to go after what I desire, to accept what comes along the way, and to love on me more than I ever could dream possible.

These pictures and all the others that I share are inspiration for me to continue to love my body just the way it is, just the size and shape it is. I've been told by other ladies that my pictures do the same for them as well. I'm grateful to hear this because I know the struggle and if I can help inspire someone to overcome their shame, guilt, or reservations, then that's what I'm here to do. I’m proud of myself for having the courage to pose regardless of not being the "perfect" size. What is that really? And, who says what's perfect? When I see my beauty marks I know that they represent my journey of motherhood. I appreciate how confident I feel in my sexiness as a mother of five children. The truth is, I am a beautiful Goddess and it would be a shame if I forget that. My sensuality is mine and how I choose to express it is also mine. That goes for you too.

So, who are you when all your clothes come off?

Have you struggled with feeling good about your size or shape? Have there been moments of tears shed because of it? I understand your struggle. I understand how frustrated you become when you see other women and or men in a body size you would like to be in. I understand your pain when you see images on t.v., in magazines, or online that make you feel like you don't measure up, like you don't "qualify". Just know that you are not alone.

 Here are some tips that have helped me, and continue to help me along the way.

Having a support system helps tremendously. However, if that is not something you have access to then begin by being your number one fan.

First, you need to stop comparing yourself to other"s. You have to start minding your own "business" when it comes to your body in order to focus on what you need to do. It's hard enough to stay motivated, happy and pleased with your body without comparing it to other's. Everything about you can be compromised by your own self if you are not careful with how you treat yourself. If you are already weak in the area of body loving then you must stay away from things and or people who have the potential to make things worse for you, period.

Second, no matter how difficult this may be for you, you must be able to drop everything (your clothing) and face the mirror. Even if you start off with as little as 5 seconds a day, standing in front of the mirror completely undressed, appreciating everything that you see will make you (eventually) feel wonderful. You can then take this wonderful feeling into the world and create more wonderful feelings for yourself and others. People can tell a woman or man who feels absolutely wonderful about being in the skin they are in and it's contagious. You want to be contagious. And you want to be contagious in a delicious, most exciting way. People will be able to breathe in your excitement about your life just by the way you make them feel. So the way you feel about your reflection could mean the difference between a happy or unhappy you. And I know you would rather be happy.

Third, appreciate where you are today and why you are where you are. The reasons vary from person to person so your reason is your reason and you have to appreciate it for what it is. No matter how you got there, appreciate it, understand why you arrived where you are and give thanks. Then, move on. Move on to what you need to do in order to get where you desire to go. And if you need help in figuring that out, then get help. Appreciation helps you to get over the hurdle and past it so that you can move on to a better place. 


It's time to move on and begin creating positive thoughts around your body and the image it portrays. This body, this capsule is all that you've got so it's got to be the best. It's your temple that's surrounds a beautiful soul. It's time you reflect that. Begin to see yourself looking the way you desire to look and feel your way into it. 

I wrote this post as a tribute to the See Body, Love Self birthday bash celebration. Ivy LaArtista is celebrating her birthday month by having a "Global Body Love Party" where she is inviting some of her favorite bloggers to contribute their body love stories as a gift to her! 

Ivy helps spread the word, uplift, and encourage women and men to embrace their bodies just as they are and deem them beautiful beyond measure. 

Feel free to stop by and check out all the goodies she's offering, see how you can participate, and how she can help you embrace and love the body that you are in.