*~For Women Only*~

I have so much time to do some of the other things I love to do other than blogging, it's been wonderful! I love to curl up and read a good book. It doesn't matter what kind of book either. I love romance novels, self-help, erotica, fiction, drama and so on and so on. Well, the other day I was at the library, by the way I don't think I ever mentioned that the reason I started going to the library and not my usual star bucks or the local book store is because they sell way too many sweets so I had to stay away. How else am I going to maintain this hot mama figure.

Anyways back to the library. While I was there I spotted a book on my way in that had a very interesting title so I grabbed it up and didn't even read the inside or back cover until I sat down. I do that sometimes, it's a quick way to find books without having to browse up and down the isles or look it up on computer plus it doesn't cut in to my allotted "me" time. The title of the book is, For Women Only - what you need to know about the inner lives of men. Hum, sounds good, huh. That's what I thought. Turns out that this time my "quick grab" was a hit. Believe me I've had plenty of misses and had to return the book before I left.

I absolutely believe with all of my heart that any of you who are a married women (happily or not), need to read this book! Go get it now! It's written by Shaunti Feldhahn who is a bestselling author, nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, and public speaker (copied from the back of her book). She also writes a weekly column on women's issues and current events for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Her and her husband Jeff are leaders in their church, leading a home group that encourages married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.

Now that you got a little bit about her, let me tell you what this book has done for me, woke me up! After reading this book I realized how much we women (sorry girls) don't know about men. We unfortunately believe all the things that the media feeds us about our men. This book spells it out for us, we don't know sh@#! Our men really and truly love and need us. They need so much from us. I'm not making excuses now, for the men who do need some straightening out, they are out there but for the most part many of our men are just simply mis-understood and society doesn't help.

~Here's my synopsis of the chapters in the book:

*They need us to respect them. Not because of their male ego or anything like that. Respect means to them that they (in your eyes) are worthy, capable, and deserving of not only your respect but that of the world's as well.

*They need us to believe in them and appreciate their efforts. Like women, men also struggle with the belief that they can do it (no, not that kind of do it). They need to know that their lady believes that they can move any mountain and that when he fails trying that she's still got his back, cheering him on. You know, his biggest cheerleader.

*They carry a heavy burden of providing for the lady they love and their family and it's ok, they actually like it like that. Many men feel that it's their job and they identify manhood with providing. Men feel powerful when they provide.

*They need to know that we desire them sexually, just like us ladies, they're no different. They want to be wanted.

*They need us to know (and this is big) that's it's natural to "look" and for us to understand that it's just that! Ladies this was big for me so after reading this it helped (and of course discussing it with D.). The fact that men are visual being plays a major role in them remembering images that they've seen some time ago. The fact that they these images pop up in their heads is not an indication of them wanting to loath over a particular person but because they're visual beings. Women who are visual beings understand. It's like what Shaunti says, men are keepers of the visual Rolodex and some times these images can come flashing through their minds at any given time for any given reason. It's the same thing for us women when we, for any reason at any time, remember and bring up something that happened two years ago and he's like, why are you bringing up that again? It's no difference.

*They need us to know that they want to be romantic. I hear so many women complain about how their man simply suck at romance. The truth is, men are natural competitors right, so they look at being romantic as a challenge, they want to please us. They essentially want to "bring it". And they can, but because they want to please us so much they are more afraid of not pleasing us. Many men aren't confident you'll like their romantic efforts.

*They need us to know the truth about the way we look to them. This is (or could be) a rather touchy subject for some women so I'm not going to go into this one, you'll have to read it for yourself. All I'll say is, it's an eye opener and you're not going to hear it like this from your man.

*Lastly, they need us to know that the one thing they wish they can tell us is how much they Love us. Sounds simple? Believe it or not many men long to show it to us. They wish we knew, "how happy we make them even when their stressed or down about something else," how much they love and appreciate us," "how much they really care," "how great of a person they think we are."

So, you see what I mean, it's worth reading. It's not a long book either. I try to pick up books that are short and easy to read. I love to read but I'm also aware of the extra time I have to do so. Men I haven't forgotten about you, Shaunti and her husband Jeff wrote a book together titled, For Men Only - a straightforward guide to the inner lives of women. I have D. reading it now. Like I said I love to read a good book, if any of you have one that you would like to recommend, please let me know.